Chris Larson’s Not So Lavish Lifestyle (VIDEO/WORDS)
If you ever spend any time with Chris is doesn’t take long to gather a collection of good stories. Whether you encounter him on the hill, in the drunk tank or even on the other end of the phone chris will leave a lasting impression. Here chris explains why you should never steel his pizza and why you don’t want to get arrested in AK.
When was the last time you were shot at?
Hah! Only time i was shot at was, last year directly after flying home from Reno. I show up and there’s like 40 kids in my house partying. So I walk into my kitchen to make some food, and there’s some random asian kid i’ve never seen trying to cook one of the pizzas i was going to cook, so i tell him….. uhhh nah man, put that back. Kid decides to give me some attitude, some words were said, and then my roommate steps in between us. Few more words are said, and my roommate socks the kid in the face and instantly splits his eyebrow. His only friend there, starts fighting my roommate, and once the kid stands back up, I started layin’ into him right in that eyebrow. Our kitchen turns into a blood bath, eventually after they’re both just fucked, i grab the initial kid by his collar and jeans, drag him out of the kitchen, and throw him down about 15 stairs towards the front door and remind him that he’s being kicked out. I clean up the blood, keep partying, and about 30 minutes later my buddy tells me there’s some asian kid bleeding from the face trying to get in the front door. Me and about 5 kids go outside to see what’s up and as soon as we get out there a black car drives by. The window goes down and 5 shots get popped off. Cops show up within 5 minutes and start taking photos of myself a few others with blood on them, and then all the blood throughout our house. Nothing happened with the cops — pretty crazy though, they just had a photo shoot in my house. We ended up getting evicted a few weeks later due to those… whoops.
Do you blame Sarah Palin for being shot at?
I blame dumb wankster asians.
Do you own a gun?
No, I’d probably end up in jail for a while.
When you’re out filming you do some pretty weird things to keep warm, care to expand?
Minimum total of 7 layers! Work on dance moves and C walkin’, and lately i’ve been sitting on the generator with the hands and feet right next to the exhaust. Pretty normal if you ask me.
I hear you gave yourself a prison tat the other day; Lets see it…
Would you let Boznuts tattoo you?
More likely than not.
Is shovel riding the future?
Mike Mo should have a full part of shovel riding by the end of the year.
Ingemar Backman became a professional poker player when he retired from snowboarding, do you think you could ever make poker a career?
That’d be real nice. I try and win my travel budget playing online.
Why do you Punch things all the time?
Life’s rough man.
Have you ever punched something and instantly regretted it?
Oh yeah. Punched my board and caught some edge first spot of the year.
Why do all the babes flock to you? Is it because of your Subaru?
The Subi probably doesn’t help.
How much weed can you smoke in a day?
Well I’m in Gaylord Michigan and can’t find any, so i can’t experiment to let you know.
How did you hook up with DWD?
Patchwork Patterns premier in Seattle, I got Geno real hammered, and tricked him into thinking i was legit.
When will you give up the pizza game?
Once pizza isn’t delivered anymore, and its just molecularly transported instantaneously after ordering.
What are your plans for the rest of the season?
SiA, then off to Japan! Hopefully get a couple good trips in and then back to AK to finish up the season strong.
It’s no secret you’ve been caught up with the law a few times care to end this interview with a good story?
Ha. Last New Years, the year of 2010 I intercepted a ‘he and she’ cop while outside. They asked me to set down my drink— I complied — they asked me to go get the owner of the house. While on my way in to do so, I started jogging because it was 0 degrees Fahrenheit. Next thing I know I’d been tackled — was being hit in the back of the head with a baton and whitewashed by some overweight cop. They suffocated me for a little longer and got in their licks. Cuffed me and sent me to jail. Being angry and drunk, I proceeded to bang on the window asking for a phone call until 3 cops confronted me at the door. I was thinking ‘hell yeah’, they’re giving me a phone call… Nope! They took me to a private cell, ripped my legs out from under me, split my chin, ripped my shirt, couple knees or elbows, whatever they were using into my back, and left me in there until I went to court the next day.
